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You all know how much Mother was to her husband and her
children, and I know with certainty that I am speaking in the spirit of
my brothers and sisters when saying that Mother stood before them, as
she stands before me, a brilliant example, and I often thank her from
the bottom of my heart for all what she was and meant to me.
My sister Frederikke once wrote a little poem containing the following
little verse dedicated to Mother:
"We have got a Mother so devoted and gentle,
so strict, but just, so faithful and resourceful."
I think this is very characteristic of Mother as she actually was. Dean
Fenger once told me after Mother’s death: "Your mother, she was a true
Christian," and it was Mother’s faith that was the keynote throughout
her life.
Mother had an all-embracing heart extending far beyond those of her own.
Mother always used to say "You are not placed into this world only to
be something to your own."
It is amazing what Mother accomplished during her life despite her weak
health and her small means. Mother could talk to all people, high and
low alike. I am going to mention a few examples hereof:
At the time Father wrecked his ship —that was off Norway. I still possess
the advertisement Father inserted into the Norwegian papers, bringing
the Captain, officers and the remaining crew of the steamship "Motala"
his own and his crew’s best thanks for the humane treatment given to all
of them from. the very moment when they were taken onboard the "Motala"
from their open boat that was in a sinking condition till they were landed
at Egernsund.
They had spent 24 hours in the lifeboat on the troubled sea, none
of them believing they would ever see land again, they were almost
half-dead when they were rescued by the Norwegian steamer. That was
on the 5th of March, 1874. Just before boarding the lifeboat — as
Captain, Father, was the last to leave the ship, a schooner, "Ferdinand"
of Antwerp, Father went into his cabin, opened his prayer book, "Arndt’s
Reflections," and it is moving to read the passage Father had picked,
it is as though it had it actually been written for a man that was
in a situation like that of Father’s. When Father died, Mother requested
my brother Elias to ask Dean Fenger to preach out from that passage,
and all you who attended Father’s burial heard how the Dean in his
characteristic manner delivered a moving and arresting sermon out
from it, and I know that there were few eyes that kept dry in the
mortuary on that occasion. Dean Fenger had chosen the following sentence
of the said passage of "Arndt’s Reflections" for his sermon: "All
paths of the Lord are mercy and truth to those that observe His commandments
and preserve His witness."
Owing to the shipwreck Father lost his position. At that time the
sailing ship trade lagged behind, and some time after Father applied
for the position as master of the "Activ," owned by the Towing Company
in Copenhagen, but he would only get the post, if he took a share
in the "Activ," and for this purpose he required a few thousand Kroner.
Father had got no money — he might borrow them from the Faaborg Savings
Bank. However, sureties would be necessary, where was he to obtain
these? He could not approach anyone for such a purpose, that was quite
impossible to him, such things were quite unfamiliar to him, but Mother
could! And Mother procured for Father all the money he needed. At
first, she approached Mr. Lagoni, Titular Councilor of State, and
the latter, who was the first surety to sign, then told her which
other gentlemen to apply to —and further he said to Mother:
"And then come back, Madam Friis, and tell me how you have fared."
When Madam Friis returned, she was able to tell that she had induced
all the prominent gentlemen to sign their names. Then the Councilor
patted her shoulder, saying: "To be true, Friis has got a clever wife".
Another example is the following:
When through the then Prime Minister Estrup, whose wife Mother had
known from the home of her childhood, Mother procured money for her
sick daughter to pay for a better piano and later —through Dean Fenger—
free admission to the Diakonissestiftelsen, where she was operated
on and stayed for half a year, she was there three times in all, each
time free of cost. When on her return from the Diakonissestiftelsen
Mother went to see Dean Fenger to thank him, Fenger said in his outspoken
manner to Mother:
"Thank you, Mrs. Friis, because you have come; it is so pleasing,
indeed, to receive thanks, and few think of it."
In the home of my childhood when we lived at No. 7 Fredensvej, a very
poor and very old woman used to call every day for several years.
She was about 90; Madam Ryberg was her name, and she had her dinner
—free of cost, of course, and sometimes lunch or supper too, and when
the old woman was ill— she lived in the neighborhood, Mother would
go to her with food, arranging her bed etc. One day I accompanied
Mother, carrying something for the old woman. When we were walking
home, I said to Mother: "Puh, how can you go there and arrange her
bed, then is so dirty". Mother looked at me and said: "Do you think
there are others that would do it?"— Mother did it, however.
When the food was not up to Madam Ryberg’s expectations, she would
scold. Mother never said anything in return. I remember distinctly
one Sunday we had had beans for dinner, and Madam Ryberg was very
offended at that Sunday menu, saying whether that was a way to treat
people on a Sunday, and what not. When she had left, my brothers and
sisters said to Mother: "How strange, Mother, that you never answer
Madam Ryberg; she gets her food quite without cost, and in return
she is scolding." Mother laughed and said: "Oh, my dear children,
she is old, remember that, so she does not know at all what she is
saying. Do you really think I am taking it to my heart?"
Nevertheless she was grateful, old Madam Rybert. In summer, she would
now and then come and present a small bunch of daisies, which she
had picked on the Amager Felled, to Mother. Mother was so fond of
flowers. One day she had brought such a little bunch of daisies, Mother
was admiring them after Madam Ryberg had left, and she said:" How
pretty they are and how glad I am at them", after which I said disdainfully:
"There is nothing to be pleased at, that is simply small daisies".
Mother looked disapprovingly at me and answered: "Indeed, don’t you
think there is anything to be pleased at, considering that an old
woman has been bending her stiff back for my sake so many times? Really?"
I distinctly remember how ashamed I felt.
At a place where I was when a young girl there came several times
a young man, he was a messenger, and, by the way, comely and of affable
manners. One day he said to me: "Don’t you recognize me?" "I really
do not know of having seen you before." He answered: "Now look
at me." "No", I said, looking at him," I do not know at all where
to place you; you must be mistaken." Then he said: "Don’t you remember
a poor little boy called Carl? He used to call several times a week
at your parents for his dinner?" "Dear me," I said, "indeed, I do
recognize you; you are Carl," and to be sure, it was.
Father and Mother were very, very hard up against it immediately after
Father having been shipwrecked, but Mother had the fortune to keep
Father, and she was immensely grateful for that. They had to sell
various things of their property, when they were going over here.
Among the things they had to sell were some lovely, heavy silver spoons
from Mother’s home. It grieved her much to part with them. Mother
told us: "Then I shed tears, I confess, what a trial it was to me
to proceed to the disposal of those spoons of my parent’s home, and
moreover I had the silly feeling that the food did not taste [good
to] me at all since I had only nickel spoons with which to eat." However,
that was only for the time immediately after.
They had five children at that time, they had had ten, and illness
they had suffered too. Father’s salary was but a small one, so, during
the years they had to pay installments to the Faaborg Savings Bank,
which payments were made punctually, they were hard up against it.
I remember Father’s and Mother’s pleasure when the last installment
to the Savings Bank had been paid.
Incredible was the manner Mother knew how to make both ends meet in
these reduced circumstances, even managing to put something by for
others. She helped where she could, both physically and mentally,
she paid no thought to herself, if she could but be something to others,
but always by stealth. To my great surprise many came and said to
me: "You have no idea how much your mother meant to me."
Mother had a way of her own with children and young men and girls,
so the school fellows of us, the children, and later the friends of
our youth loved Mother. I am now going to conclude by quoting a few
words of Dean Fenger’s sermon on Mother.
"There were no gold nor rich possessions, but there was love."
I propose this toast to the memory of Mother!
(Glasses were raised).
And I propose that all of us sing "Kaerlighed fra Gud," that was always
sung in my parent’s home when we were gathered there.
Here are the two remaining verses of my sister’s little poem:
We have a Father, sacrificing and good,
so faithful and devoted, of strong courage.
In the days of our childhood, we
were not right aware, how well
meant towards us their words were,
but when we grew older, and everything
did not go quite smoothly, we perceived
the truth of them early and late.
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